Originally published in the Winter/Spring 2025 edition of the Virginia Defender, issue 76, printed March 26. Reproduced here for accessibility and archival purposes. To find other stories in the Winter/Spring 2025 issue or to download the full PDF, see this post. For other issues dating back to 2012, see the Full Issues page.

I sit here too close to 70 now. A first offense, life + 20, denied parole since 1999, denied geriatric release seven times, clemency two times, D.O.C. Director parole recommendation three times. No infraction since 1989, completed every program, money saved, eligible for Social Security and all kinds of people waiting to help with job, home.

The D.O.C. and Parole Board doesn’t want us to show we are sorry or empathy because that would show rehabilitation. Then they wouldn’t have an excuse to deny parole. We are a commodity, not worth a second chance. Paroling the rehabilitated would slow the prison money machine and jobs might be lost in economically depressed areas that need prisons for jobs.

Here’s an idea: If you need and want a job, move to where jobs are. My name isn’t a meal ticket. I’m a rehabilitated human being denied a second chance.

We have been locked down an average of 30 out of 60 days since August 2023. When not locked down we are out of cells one to three hours a day. We had no outside rec 12/28/23 to 2/22/24. They have confiscated watches, alarm clocks, beard trimmers, toothbrushes, pens, pencils, art pencils. They constantly do walk-throughs of cells, spot searches daily, wake us up 2 am, 3:30 am for cell search. Midnight drug testing. Hey, we’re here 24/7. Why at night?

I am just sad about seeing everyone else suffering. We come off a 12-day shakedown and get out two hours all day. Then at night told no evening pod rec.

You can see the quiet resignation in their faces. They say nothing anymore. They are reduced to less than an animal in a pound, waiting and waiting. I am so saddened by seeing others so beat down. (I feel lost.)

Virgil Hawks
RED ONION